No, but you do get “file errors” and “quarantined files”. My Mom’s desk is a perfect example, it’s the black whole of Kalcutta. If she says “don’t worry I printed it out”…I automatically resend the file as it has certainly been lost due to a “file error” or “quarantined” in her trash can.

As for the other stuff. I do appreciate you taking the time to read my stuff, as well as others. And I do realise that you have other things on your plate as well. So read, if and when you can, at your own leisue and enjoyment.

I like to think I’m a decent person.

I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts about the script next week. Give me a call.

You’re a good friend, Jerry. Thanks.

You’ve never seen my paper airplanes, have you?

Ref: Lets Be Honest Here…

It’s not utter, stinking crap. The ideas are good, but their still a bit raw. The pacing seems just a little… off? I kept getting the odd feeling that you were putting too much in some parts of the first issue while simultaneously feeling that not enough was there in other parts. It’s not something I think I can adequately explain in print.

What can I address? Well, the stuff that most popped out to my feeble little mind.

Something that threw me out of the moment was that Steve’s feelings of being in his sister’s shadow was spelled out a little too heavily and too… raw?… in the fight with Brainpower. A few subtle hints in their interactions earlier in the book with a less hammer-like explanation of his feelings during the fight would probably go a long way toward conveying that idea in a stronger and more natural way.

Something just didn’t quite jell right with me during the scene with the street corner con artists. I think it was probably Kathy’s dialogue in the scene.

How about a hint more of what made him super or a bit less now with a good background chunk in issue two or three? Actually, putting off until later might be a good idea about the sister’s shadow issue as well. Steve seems just a wee bit messed up by the end of issue one. If he’s not gifted with Wolverine like healing abilities, then you’ve likely got two good options to display one of his personal demons. If he’s going to be wasted for a chunk of issue two, you could show us some of his innermost thoughts. If he’s trashed but able to try and chase the bad guy while sis tries to stop him, you have a confrontation created to let that slip (we say all sorts of things we normally wouldn’t when in massive pain and half zonked.)

I’d have also had him a little more… I don’t know… shocked by the dead bodies. That kind of thing does freak people out a little more then its often portrayed and not just in complete freak out ways.

I’m not off until late next week and weekend’s daytime hours may be committed, weather permitting, but I’ll give you a ring somehow if you think that a little live interaction on these points or others may do any good. Not that I’m a genius or some great fount of awe inspiring, muse-like guidance, but it may cause a few gears to click in a different way that helps.

Or not.

~8?/`

Short version:

It’s a good start and there’s actually a lot of there there. You just have to chip away at the stone and find the sculpture inside of it.