But Not As We Know It…
According to the Associated Press, scientists have identified a potentially habitable planet. They’re calling it “Earth.” It doesn’t look like much, but scientists say it has “potential” and would be perfect for anyone willing to take on a “fixer-upper.”
The dominant form of life on this planet, dubbed “humans” by xenobiologists, does not appear to be intelligent. Scientists believe that a race of flightless birds on the planet, called “Penguins,” are the real up-and-comers.
April 24th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
I smell a ROAD TRIP! Okay, I’ll bring the nachos, cheese and the hot wings. Bill, you bring the drinks. Mulligan’s in charge of the maps and the tolls. I hear the Plutonian Bypass toll’s a bear. Jerry, can you get us on the HOV lane?
(BTW, Bill, thanks for letting me do this joke. As soon as I saw that article when I got online, it popped in there.)
April 24th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
Mulligan’s in charge of the maps
Ok, that may be the funniest thing you’ve ever said. We are sooooooooooo screwed. The Robinson family would be less lost in space than we’ll be.
Bill
(Who has to look up on mapquest every time he drives to New York even though he has made the trip an estimated 40 times in the last 10 years and STILL gets lost at some point each and every time)
April 24th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
You smell a road trip? Well, ok. But only so long as you promise that you won’t misplace the script halfway through the trip. I am not ending up with a mad dog killer riding shotgun with me.
Lets hear it for penguins!!! I understand one is due to run for VP again in 08. Too bad his running mate, a disreputable fellow named Bill, is likely to screw the pooch for them again.
*Sigh*
I miss that strip.
April 25th, 2007 at 7:39 am
Okay, Jerry. Guys, Jerry says I can’t go.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Sean Scullion: “(BTW, Bill, thanks for letting me do this joke. As soon as I saw that article when I got online, it popped in there.)”
Don’t mention it. It’s one of the reasons this blog exists.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Sean Scullion: “Guys, Jerry says I can’t go.”
Yeah, well, Jerry’s not in charge. This is my break with reality and I say you can go.
April 25th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
I didn’t say you couldn’t go, I just asked you not to misplace the script. Haven’t you ever read Bloom County? Don’t you know the danger in that?
I mean, dude, its not like the risk of having Mulligan along isn’t reason enough to keep track of the thing. We’ll be bopping along at Warp 3 taking in the sights, discussing the best Kirk methods for “getting along” with alien natives and enjoying a few brews when suddenly you realize that you’ve misplaced the script. Next thing we know, good ol’ Mulligan is scribbling away with his scripting pen, a mad grin on his face, and we find ourselves fighting a desperate battle against Astro-Zombies From Beyond the Rim while crash landing on the Atomic Vampyres’ planet in its Mango Guava Jungle of Death.
I’m just begging you not to lose the bleeding script!!!
Oh, can I make some special requests for the nachos? Add jalapeño peppers, beef chili, green bell peppers and sour cream to the grocery list. If you’re gonna do nachos, why not go deluxe?
April 25th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Jerry Chandler: “If you’re gonna do nachos, why not go deluxe?”
This space ship of ours better have windows… or a healthy supply of Beano and Gas-X.
April 25th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Okay, you can have a special sour cream plate, Jerry. Or, if the Bills like sour cream, I’ll have a special no sour cream plate. Everything else is a go. Including the Beano and the Gas-X. Personally, I’m pulling for a fairly well ventilated bathroom, too. Ya just don’t get enough bathroom-in-space scenes in movies these days.
And trust me, Mulligan’s scripts ain’t the ones to worry about. Mine are evil. Eeee-Vil. His are the Diet Coke of Evil Scripts. Just one calorie, NOT Evil enough. Where mine would be up there with Rasputin and Darth Vader, his would be running an Evil Petting Zoo.
Cutter Bill…gonna be cracking up over that all day tomorrow. One of my personal favorites, though, is when Steve gets reSteved.
So, are we going to christen this ship the Portnoy One?
April 25th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Milo (freaking the hell out): “HE’S BACK!!!!”
Steve (looking cooler then ever): “And he’s bad.”
Maybe the greatest series to ever see news paper print.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
We may need some handcuffs as well. They’ll come in handy for making sure we don’t float into odd places while snoozing and for when somebody goes a little space crazy from the long trip and repeated viewings of the limited DVD collection that we can bring.
I only have one key though, so I’ll hold on to it for safe keeping. I mean, hey, I’ll promise not to turn into an insane, machete wielding killer due to too much exposure to the dark bowels of space, far from home, far from loved ones and with nothing to do every day but the same mindless, lowly tasks over and over and over and over again!!!!!!!!!! No, I won’t be the one who cracks. You want me to think that, but I won’t be the one. Ohhhhhh nooooo sirrreeee. You just want this key and this machete so that you can use them. Well,
You’re
not
getting
them.
.
.
So, what time will tea be served on the ship?
April 25th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
“far from home, far from loved ones and with nothing to do every day but the same mindless, lowly tasks over and over and over and over again!!!!!!!!!!”
Describes me college years perfectly. Suddenly, those dreams make sense….
Sorry, Jerry, all we’ll have is something that resembles tea.
April 26th, 2007 at 7:53 am
Jerry, all of this talk about handcuffs is making me uncomfortable.
Sean, don’t you DARE tie up the ship’s computer with trying to make a real cup of tea!!!!
April 26th, 2007 at 9:09 am
That’s just the chaffing. Try not to click ‘em on so tight or invest in a good skin lotion that deals with itching.
And Sean won’t tie up the computer too badly or for too long. He’s getting us something that resembles tea rather then a liquid that is almost, but not quite, but not quite entirely, unlike tea. I think the computer and I can both deal with that.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Jerry, Bill, don’t worry. I had an ex-girlfriend that had velvet-lined handcuffs. No chafing.
Hey…why are you guys looking at me like that?
Bill, I’m sorry if my cup of tea isn’t your…cup of tea.
April 27th, 2007 at 12:37 am
That is in fact because that’s not your cup of tea. That’s my cop of coffee you’ve got. Now, do you mind giving that back?
Geez, it’s going to be so much fun being locked into close quarters with this bunch.
April 27th, 2007 at 6:58 am
First one to start singing Kumbayah gets spaced. Or I’ll go all El Kabong with my guitar.