Where is Bill Mulligan?
I’ve noticed that Bill Mulligan hasn’t been posting with as much frequency around here lately. I’m sure he’ll claim it’s because he’s been busy working on his movies, or swamped with teaching duties, or dealing with family stuff.
I’m going to tell you in advance that it’s bull.
So let’s try to determine the real reason why he’s been absent. Here are my suspicions:
- He is spending the night in jail as the result of drunkenly urinating on people’s garage doors.Â
- He is busy competing in the Mr. Nude USA contest.
- He is in the hospital with a fractured skull he suffered as the result of being hit on the head with a frying pan by Florence Henderson, who reacted badly when he broke into her house dressed as Cindy Brady and declared, “I’ve been a bad girl and I need to be punished, Mommy!”
Your turn! Why do you think Mulligan has been absent?
April 7th, 2007 at 9:54 am
He’s been too busy living in a tree next to Bill Myer’s house, looking through the scope of a sniper rifle, watching as Mr. Myers writes on his blog and giggles. He smiles, his finger tightening on the trigger…
April 7th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Actually, I’ve been busy helping to install a clean water sanitation system to a poor village in Guatemala which will help reduce the child mortality rate.
You must be feeling terribly guilty by now.
April 7th, 2007 at 9:57 am
Actually, I’m on spring break, visiting family in New York…so the part about showing up at your house with or without a sniper rifle may not be TOO far removed from reality!
April 7th, 2007 at 10:26 am
That was YOU with the sniper rifle? Apparently, you couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn!
April 7th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Well, to be absolutely fair, I sneezed right BEFORE Bill pulled the trigger. And, okay, Bill, I lost the bet, you WERE in range. Ahhh, what do I know, anyway?
April 7th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Wait, wait, ignore my post above(BTW, hope the sneeze stain comes off your watch cap, Mulligan) this is a new game, right? It’s like Where’s Waldo, but he’s standing next to Bill and Jeannie’s place in a red and white sweater with a red and blue cap with a pom on top, right? He’s in the middle of a bunch of zombies and high school students in similar colors, right? And somewhere at the bottom of the other page, Jerry’s picking off whiny LCS owners who whine too much with a pea shooter, right?
April 8th, 2007 at 1:20 am
Spring break in NY? I’d imagine that it would involve being trapped in a blizzard, Abominable Snowmen, some questionable survival menu choices (it’s the other, other white meat) and a great new zombie plot.
By the way, Jenn told me to pass on that she’s very jealous of you guys right now. She really misses the good, solid snow falls that she grew up with in NJ. Not that you guys are probably loving it all that much as an Easter gift. What the hell is up with your weather this year? Or ours for that matter?
April 8th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Yeah, tell Jenn the snow is great. We lost little Tara to a snow drift during the Easter Egg hunt.
On a happier note, I got a chocolate bunny.
April 8th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Huh. Wouldn’t hunting eggs in a snow drift give an unfair advantage?
Jerry, if we had any, I’d love to send Jenn a cooler of snow, but can you imagine the reaction? “We’ve got a large container of a cold white substance being sent through the mail, go into lockdown!” So, just be glad we don’t actually have any right now.
BTW, what part of Jersey?
April 9th, 2007 at 3:35 am
Jerry Chandler: “What the hell is up with your weather this year? Or ours for that matter?”
It’s all my girlfriend’s fault. About three weeks ago she told me The Farmer’s Almanac predicted snow for us during the week leading up to Easter.
That book is of the Devil and should be destroyed.
April 9th, 2007 at 3:35 am
You know, I had really hoped this was going to be a pile-on-Bill-Mulligan thread. You people are really far too decent for my taste.
April 9th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Well, if it’s any help, I have it on good authority that Bill Mulligan throws anthrax spores in the face of orphans.
April 9th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
“Well, if it’s any help, I have it on good authority that Bill Mulligan throws anthrax spores in the face of orphans,” Mulligan posted somewhat sheepishly.
April 10th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Sean,
Mont Clair, NJ.
“I had really hoped this was going to be a pile-on-Bill-Mulligan thread. ”
Yeah, I had a few better ones in mind when I swung by, but Mulligan and his LMD’s made the first three posts. Kinda takes the wind out of the sails when the first three posts on a “where is he” thread are from the guy who you’re going to poke fun at over his unknown whereabouts telling you various versions of where he is.
April 11th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Ha! That’s me–professional wind sail out putter…er, professional taker out of wind…um, professional wet blanket!
Actually I just dropped my girls back at Hoosick NY (“Our Motto–Where the Hell Are We?”) just in time for another reported 6-8 inches of the white stuff tonight. Yikes! I need to get hither back to ole North Caroliney whilst I can!
Hope y’all are enjoying your global warming…