You don’t get much in the way of injury stories from me because:

A) I work out and stretch regularly. Even as bad as I’ve been slacking the past year, I’m fairly above average in basic physical conditioning. You have no idea how much just basic stretching keeps you from getting the “normal” injuries that come with jobs like mine. Plus, I switched to working out on a Bowflex a few years ago. They’re not as all-that-and-more as they try to get you to believe, but the nature of the resistance, the range of motion it allows and the absence of the herky-jerky motion and momentum that comes with free weight seems to, on me at least, allow more regular and harder workouts without stressing joints and muscles to the point that they’re more susceptible to injury.

B) I can project so dark natured a presence when I want/need to that even some of the weirder 10-96’s back off from getting stupid with me. Between that, my horror movie addiction, my dislike of days, my favorite hours to work (4 to mids) and fairly extensive knowledge of the darker myths, legends and tales in history, even my fellow officers refer to me as “the Vampire” more often then they use my name. This kinda thing tends to keep down the other type of injuries you find in lines of work like mine.

C) I tend to not post too much about the constant snaps, whaps, splats, dings, dents, cracks and crashes that I inflict on myself weekly/biweekly cutting down the dead trees in my yard, working on home improvements, playing with my swords or just trying to walk around the house with two psychotic cats and two neurotic dogs underfoot all the time. Why tell everybody what a total klutz I can be doing the simple things in life when I can hold in reserve the ability to play off the bad injuries of stupidity as cool, work related injuries of machoness.

“The Token Cop? Like, he arrests tokens? You gonna stand for that, Jerry?”

Hey, don’t knock it. He doesn’t look like much on South Park, but that’s one tough little S.O.B. when he gets drunk or out of control. Somebody has to be there to take care of it when he gets out of hand.

Just in case anybody’s interested, I threw up the trailer for my movie on Ziddio. It’s the Shadow War under the Horror/Sci Fi tag. Of course, me being me, I put the ALMOST-final one up there, so yeah, I know that A) The title’s kinda lame, and B) The first chromakey bit doesn’t line up right. I gotta start remembering to DELETE the rough cuts.

And I’ll set ANYBODY up like that when they’re having a week as bad as you, Bill. Yeah, it was intentional. Really. It was. FINE. Don’t believe me.

Like I care.

“The Cat,” Bill? I have THREE. Of course I can’t be certain they weren’t involved. They’re like little ninjas!

Jerry Chandler: “The tax time curse strikes another poor soul down in his prime.”

Yeah, usually it’s my car that does it to me. This is a new wrinkle on the curse.

Sean Scullion: “Why, oh Universe, is it that whenever I’m hit, it’s in the freakin’ HEAD?”

Oooohhh, you shouldn’t give a guy like me set-up lines like that, Sean…

Seriously, glad to hear you’re all right. Having an object hit you in the head after falling 60 feet can be, like, fatal. Please be careful!

Odd, you’d think Jerry Chandler would be the one with work-related injuries to report being the Token Cop of this group.

I feel your pain, Bill. I had a camera tower door fall on my head yesterday. While 60 feet in the air. Why, oh Universe, is it that whenever I’m hit, it’s in the freakin’ HEAD?

I swear, there’s just something about tax rebates that cause your luck to decrease to just about the financial equivalent needed to neutralize the benefits of them. The IRS did a deal with the unholy powers of the underworld to strike back at any who dare to reclaim even a few small crumbs of what they remove from us during the year.

The cat MAY have been involved? Who cares if you can prove weather or not the cat was there? Blame the cat anyhow. Cats are evil.

Are you absolutely certain the Cat was nowhere around you when you fell? They do things like that, you know.