Separate, but Sequel
I was watching the boob tube this morning and saw a commercial for Cinderella III: A Twist in Time.
Cinderalla III????
I swear I’d no idea they’d even made Cinderella II!!! That’s nuts!!!
Hey, let’s play a game. What should be the titles of future Cinderella sequels? I’ll start us off:
Cinderella IV: You Can Shove Those Glass Slippers Up Your Ass, I’m Out of Here
Cinderella V: The Scent of a Lesbian
Cinderella VI: Cinderella’s Bloody Vengeance
Your turn!
February 3rd, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Cinderella VII: Out of Prison and on the Talk Show Circuit
February 3rd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
I swear, Disney is becoming a bigger straight to DVD company then Full Moon ever was. I looked up their direct to DVD movies and got about a page worth of sequels that I had never heard of.
Cinderella VIII: VS Destroyahrella
Cinderella IX: Cinderella VS Space Mecha Cin
Cinderella X (After the Fall): Dark Cin Rising
February 3rd, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Yeah, Stacie’s favorite Disney movie of all time is Cinderella. II was so underwhelming that she only kept it long enough to find out that I wouldn’t get mad if she got rid of it.
On to the titles—
Cindereleven
Cinderella Gets With Prince Charming’s Guards And They Go All Tarantino On The Stepsisters
Cinderella In Talks With Hugh Hefner To Do A Photo Shoot To Finally Put To Rest All Those “Cinderfella” Rumors
AND—
Cinderella Gets With Her Fairy Godmother To Turn Mike Leung Back Into The Poison Sumac Patch He Was Originally
AND FINALLY—
Cinderella Confused As Several Above-Average Intelligence Guys On A Saturday Plot Out Her Next Movie Titles
February 3rd, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Okay, 1 more and that’s it, I promise!
Cinderella 16–Katie, Nio, Zeke And Zack Kidnap Gus And Jacques For The Crimes Of Helping Dress Hewmons And Hold Them Until One Of Them Gets Hungry.
Damn it, I need to move so I can get a cat. Or a squirrel.(The gag that wouldn’t die….)
February 3rd, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Sean,
Get both, then it will.
I just hope for your sake that Stacie doesn’t mind seeing the Discovery Channel play out on the living room floor.
February 3rd, 2007 at 7:40 pm
I can see it now…
“IN THIS CORNER…CAPTAIN SMOKEY THE SECOND…
AND IN THIS CORNER…SCRAPPY THE SQUIRREL…
AND OVER HERE IN THIS CORNER…THE DIVORCE LAWYER ABOUT TO HAND SCULLION HIS HEAD….”
Brian:”Daddy, why did you bring a rodent home before Mommy had you committed?”
Me:”MMF MMFF MMMMF URG MMMMMF” because I’d surely be gagged.
February 3rd, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Lucky Cindersleven?
How about:
Cinderella: War of the Seven Seas
The evil sea hag sinks a ship with Prince Charming on board. All hands are lost at sea. When bits of the boat wash ashore, clues are misread to point to Neptune sinking the ship. Cindy gets even by inviting the little Mermaid to dinner and serving her three course of fine viddles that happen to end with Sebastian tail in a wine and butter sauce.
The two kingdoms then go to war and half destroy each other over the course of the next two years before finding out that it was all an evil plot by the Sea Hag and The Evil Stepsisters to destroy their happy little lives.
The two princesses then join forces with Mickey from Fantasa to bind the Hag & Stepsisters to the Song of the South until the end of time, thus ensuring that they are never seen or heard from again. They then all die in a tragic mop accident when they ask Mickey to help clean up the damsge left over from their tragic little war.
February 3rd, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Okay, and then they bring the seven dwarves in to provide the stonework for the rebuilding, which is when the truth is revealed that Dopey was Gimli’s little sister who had both her beard and vocal cords removed after a beer drinking contest. Shortly after, Belle calls the Dr. Phil show because she just can’t take the Beast’s fleas any more, and not ONCE has he ever picked up what he’s shed OR said “Oh, my stars and garters.” And Sleeping Beauty is still trying to get those downers out of her system. In still other world events, Al and the Genie have both been mauled by Raja after Jasmine got PMS. They are now teaming up with Siegfried and Roy for the Scarred Magic Variety Show. Still elsewhere, Walt Disney is wondering WHY he ever tried to smoke that stuff…
February 3rd, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Somehow, I get this picture of all of us being denied entry into the Magic Kingdom over this thread.
February 3rd, 2007 at 9:31 pm
If we could only fit Bedknobs and Broomsticks into this and add some vampires, zombies and werewolves to the mix, this could very well be the perfect film.
Oh, and add Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura to the thing to go around killing mutants and aliens.
And have the battles in the war awaken a long snoozing Godzilla…..
February 5th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
Raging Slipper.
February 6th, 2007 at 7:41 am
i think it appropriate to follow current movie trends and go this way…and maybe that way, too…
cinderella vii-first blood
cinderella viii-playing doctor
cinderella ix- show you mine i see yours (playing doctor 2)
cinderella x- no Jonbenet ramsey here
cinderella xi- darling in diapers
cinderella xii- ga-ga-poo-poo
(aka will ferrel’s secret to success)
cinderella xiii- the fetal years
cinderella xiv- the making of cinderella-wilt chamberlain strikes again
February 6th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Gonna hate meself in the morning, but I have to.
Alas, poor Yourick, you groaned me well…..
February 6th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
Okay, just saw another commercial for this thing. Talks about it boldy going where no Disney movie has gone before.
That’s hitting a LITTLE too close to home for me. Someplace else I couldn’t help going–
“Analysis, Me. Spock?”
“The signal appears to be ooming from a large pumpkin…it appears to be sending something to the effect of ‘Bippity boppity boo!’ Highly illogical, but a strangely catchy tune.”