My naym iz Kay Tee. I am a kat. Az yoo noe, I got owt uv the howse last week and got lokked owt. I kept a jurnul of my advenchur and I thawt I’d shayr it wif yoo.

Novembur 24, 2006, 6:55 p.m. — Wile my mommee wuz putteeng a Krismiss ornamint owtside I ran owt the bak door.

Novembur 24, 2006, 7:15 p.m. — SHIT! Mommee clozed the door!

Novembur 24, 2006, 7:45 p.m. — Mommee and Daddee ar not heering my meows! I theenk I am stuk owt heer.

Novembur 24, 2006, 9:00 p.m. — I git hungree so I try to hunt for fude. I chayss a skwirl but he runs away! KOWARD!

Novembur 24, 2006, 10:30 p.m. — I mayk a poo poo on the grass bekuz I hav no liddur boks to go in. I try to bary it but the grownd is too hard. Oh well it iz sumwun else’s problim now.

Novembur 24, 2006, 11:30 p.m. — It iz kold and I am skayrd! I meow sum mor. Sumwun throes a shoo at mee and tellz mee to shud up. So I koff up a hayrbawl on his porch.

Novembur 25, 2006, 12:17 a.m. — I wawk too the kornir stor bekuz I am shur thay hav kat fude thayr. I meeyow and try tue get sumwun tue go in and by mee sum fude. But the manajur shoos me away! Jurk! I get him bak by koffeeng up a hayrbawl in the parkeeng lot.

Novembur 25, 2006, 12:45 a.m. — I eet a bug. It is not as satissfying as Friskeez canned fude but rite now it iz awl I hav.

Novembur 25, 2006, 1:15 a.m. — I chayss anuthir skwirl. Hee runz away. Wut the hel? Wen I am insyde, my fude duz not run away lyke this!

Novembur 25, 2006, 1:26 a.m. — I am gettin desprit. So I goe bak too the kornir stor and try too sneek in. I figgur I kin rip opin a bag uv kat fude and eet wut fallz owt. But the dam manajur chayssis me away again! I try too koff up anothir hayrbawl in the parkeeng lot but nutheeng wil com owt! It must be that stoopit hayrbawl medisun Mommee and Daddee giv mee.

Novembur 25, 2006, 1:55 a.m. — I find the shoo that sumwun throo at mee and I play wif it, choo on it, and shred it wif my klawz. Thiz iz 1 shoo that wil nevvur meniss anuthir kat evur again.

Novembur 25, 2006, 3:34 a.m. — A flyeeng sawsur landz in my bak yard! Liddle purpul alienz com owt. I try to bat them arownd bekuz thay ar only 4 inchiss tall. But the leedur getz my attenshun and explaynz too me that he coms from a planit in the M-5 galaksee. Hee asks mee if I noe ware that iz. I tell him noe, of cors not! This iz the furst tyme I’ve evur bin owtsyde my howse eksept to goe to the vet. He explaynz that thay need a kat to sayv thare wurld frum ekstinkshun by a rayss of bad alienz that ar invulnurabull to everytheeng eksept kat dandur. I get bored bekuz I dont kare and I chayss them away.

Noveumbur 25, 2006, 4:00 a.m. — I goe too sleep undur the cover on wun of the grillz.

Novembur 25, 2006, 11:00 a.m. — My mommee openz the dor and letz mee bak in.

Now the problim iz my Mommee and Daddee wont let me owt no mor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!