Who Broke the Internet?
Well, Peter David’s blog is as of the time of this posting. Some people might blame technical difficulties. Not me. I blame my good friend Bill Mulligan. Why? Why the hell not?
Hmmm… what else can we blame unfairly on Mulligan…?
December 1st, 2006 at 7:01 am
THE GREAT BALTIMORE FIRE OF 1904:
Bill Mulligan did it. They told him not to play with those sticks.
The Great Cherry Coal Mine Disaster:
“So, what’d you say happens if I push this plunger?”
The Cunard Liner Lusitania:
All Mulligan’s fault. I don’t care what my teacher told me. We know the truth.
The Cocoanut Grove Nightclub Fire:
“No, I want ALL the candles on my birthday cake.”
Great Flood of Southeast Michigan:
Only one thing is scarier then Bill Mulligan win a drinking contest so handily. That’s the next morning’sresults.
The Great Boston Molasses Tragedy:
Lets just not go there…..
Last week my wheat bread got moldy two days after I bought it:
Damn you Bill Mulligan!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 1st, 2006 at 9:54 am
Yeah, I think I’m gonna pay for this entry nine ways from Sunday.
The thing is, I really, really, really like Bill Mulligan! But I was tired last night, feeling punchy, and I wanted to get one more blog entry in before the end of the month.
As I said, I think I’m gonna pay for this one, and rightly so…
By Saturday, I’ll have a couple of legitimate, non-Mulligan-bashing entries up here for y’all to chew on…
December 1st, 2006 at 12:32 pm
Bill, Bill, Bill…don’t you know it isn’t wise to mess with people with connections to zombies?
“Great Flood of Southeast Michigan:
Only one thing is scarier then Bill Mulligan win a drinking contest so handily. That’s the next morning’sresults.”
Damn, Jerry, that’s both the scariest image that I’ve had in my head in the last 36 hours, far supplanting the lung transplant patient whose lungs excise themselves with a large portion of the flesh of the recipient to reform the donor, and hugely evocative of Strange Brew. Mulligan in a toque…THERE’s an image, eh?
December 1st, 2006 at 12:34 pm
BTW, you guys feel the odd sense of loss and disconnect when Peter’s site wasn’t working, or was it just MY freak brain?
December 1st, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Ha ha! Yep, you guys got me good!
Say…you wouldn’t by any chance be living near a graveyard on or about the 14th of december, would you/ Just asking….hmmmm mmm hmm.
And how the hell is it that just yeasterday I read about the Great Boston Molasses Tragedy and now Jerry brings it up? How wierd is that?
December 14th. Good day to sleep in. Keep the doors unlockecd, let some fresh air in. Yep.
And did it not occur to any of you geniuses that ALL of those events could jst as convincingly be blamed on…squirrels???
December 1st, 2006 at 7:34 pm
Why, yes, Bill, I do live near several graveyards. Why, will you be making a personal live, er, dead appearance?
Great, more friggin’ squirrels.
December 2nd, 2006 at 1:53 pm
I do feel the sense of loss and disconnect when Peter’s blog goes blooey, but no, it isn’t odd. It’s become something of a community.
I’m starting to feel like my own blog is becoming the same sort of thing, what with an ever-increasing number of regular posters. It’s a good feeling.
December 2nd, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Bill, no one can deny you are a good sport.
But what the heck is the significance of Dec. 14th? Seriously, I don’t get it.
Oh, and lest I forget… GODDAMN HITLER-LOVING NEO-NAZI SQUIRRELS!
December 2nd, 2006 at 10:21 pm
You know I was sort of thinking along those lines meself. If Peter’s site is like the corner bar, loonies included free of charge, your blog could be like an ever-increasing dinner party. And I’ll try not to spill anything on the carpet. Or Katie.
December 2nd, 2006 at 11:07 pm
But my blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, just as is Peter’s. His is more popular because he is a well-known and respected writer of comic-books, novels, and television shows, but we both maintain an open-door policy.
I’m just not big enough to attract the loonies. For now. If I can ever get The Victory Streak completed and get some attention drawn to it, that could change.
Katie thanks you for your diligence in trying not to spill things on her.
Oh, and while I consider it a breach of trust to edit anyone’s posts except under the most extreme circumstances — I noticed that you put your e-mail address in the “name” field. Since you’ve never done that before I surmised it was an accident and changed it. I didn’t want your e-mail address displayed for all to see if that’s not what you wanted. If you did want to sign your post with your e-mail address, let me know and I’ll change it back.
December 2nd, 2006 at 11:13 pm
Actually, I wouldn’t have much problem with that if it wasn’t for the fact that people like Mike could get a hold of it, so thank you. I should know by now not to work and type, but working master control, you know that the hours drag on by interrupted by brief interludes of being too busy to breathe.
December 6th, 2006 at 4:58 am
So, I’m sitting around the house unable to do pretty much anything right now. I called in to work and told them that I would be a out with a bit of a flu. I felt that this was a less gross and less embarrassing statement then telling them that I had a bad stomach bug and was afraid to move more then ten yards from either of my house’s bathrooms. And then I stroll on over to PAD’s blog and read Myer’s post on his problems of the past two days.
Coincidence? I think not. Mulligan is on the move.
And that Mulligan is one sneaky bastard. He told us to beware the 14th. Little did we know he was speaking in code just to throw us off and catch us unawares.
December 14, 2006.
12/14/06
1 + 2 = 3, 1 + 4 = 5, 0 + 6 = 6
5/6 = 1.2
1.2/3 = 2.5
2 - 5 = -3
-3 can be said to mean three days and counting.
Mulligan made his threat on the first day of the month.
Well, countdown 3, 2, and 1 and we’ve each got a “bug” that we just independently “happened” to catch. And Mulligan is over there on PAD’s site gloating. Don’t think so? Read between the lines. He says that there’s something really bad going around out there. He should know. Then he signs his work by saying that he only has the “flu” to contend with.
It’s one last code.
F = 5, L = 12, & U = 21
21, as we all know, is Blackjack.
5/12. The day that the bug has incubated enough to completely house lock us. The day that we’re both well and truly down for the three count.
Mulligan likes wrestling. He knows that I like wrestling. He knows that I would get the wrestling heel reference in that.
Blackjack Mulligan. The villain. The bad guy of the piece. His admission and his gloat.
Clever, Mulligan. Dan Brown would be proud of you. But you’re not finished yet, are you.
Sean, lock the doors, break out the swords and release the dogs. It’s your only chance. I don’t know what else he has planned. I can’t break the last of his code in time to save you. But, whatever it is he’s planning for you, it can’t be good. May God have mercy on you, for Mulligan will have none.
December 6th, 2006 at 5:04 am
You see what happens when you let me within ten feet of a good blog when I’m sick and my brain is fried? You get demented conspiracy theories based on bad books and wrestling. And you only have to deal with this for as long as it takes you to read it. My wife has to live with this kinda thing all the time.
Is it any wonder EVERYBODY who knows me keeps telling my wife that she’s an absolute saint for putting up with me?
December 6th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Swords are ready, Basker and Ville are waiting unfed by the doors, and my wife is searching for a straightjacket for me for Christmas. All I have to do is not panic every time the doorbell or the phone rings. But Mulligan might be more clever than we gave credit for. It might be a technological virus, that can leap onto a person’s skin, infecting him with ever increasing paranoia. CURSE YOU, MULLIGAN! AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO!
December 7th, 2006 at 11:48 pm
“I felt that this was a less gross and less embarrassing statement then telling them that I had a bad stomach bug and was afraid to move more then ten yards from either of my house’s bathrooms. And then I stroll on over to PAD’s blog and read Myer’s post on his problems of the past two days.”
So you’re telling me that I perhaps revealed a bit too much over at Peter’s blog?
December 8th, 2006 at 6:01 am
Hey, some things don’t play the same in faceless communication like blogs as they do in the workplace. Especially a cops workplace. Do you have ant idea how bad we ride each other over anything like that? You might have gotten a few digs and jokes from a few posters for all of five to seven posts. I would have been ridden harder then hell for at least three days.
I should know. I’ve helped ride others for at least that long.