My lovely girlfriend, Jeannie, and I went to visit my parents for dinner last night. My sister, Amy, and my brother-in-law, Daryl, joined us as well. They brought my three-year-old niece, Maddie, and my 11-month-old nephew, Jake, in tow.

After dinner, I was playing with Maddie. She was having fun with a Fisher-Price Sesame Street playset that used to belong to my sister when she was little. At one point, I suggested that Ernie wanted to get something to eat. But Maddie marched the little Ernie figurine through the front door of the little plastic apartment building and told me, “No! He wants to go outside.”

“Why does he want to go outside?” I asked.

She told me, “He’s gonna smoke.”

“Ernie’s going to smoke?” I asked incredulously.

“Yes,” Maddie responded with confidence.

“Ernie doesn’t smoke!” I protested.

“Yes he does!” Maddie retorted, again with confidence.

“No he doesn’t,” I admonished. “You’ve never seen Ernie on Sesame Street smoking a cigarette. Why? Because he doesn’t smoke!”

Maddie simply informed me, “He’s finished smoking.” I don’t think she meant that he quit the habit, but merely that he finished his cigarette.

She then marched Ernie back into the little toy building, and she informed me, “NOW he wants to eat.”

I was afraid she was going to tell me he was about to get a beer from the ‘fridge!