Transcript of Mel Gibson’s July 28 Arrest
(For those with the distressing tendency to take everything at face value: the following piece is satire, and not a real news story, OK? And it’s definitely not for the easily offended. You have been warned.)Bill Myers Creations has received a complete transcript of the verbal exchanges between Mel Gibson and Los Angeles County Sheriff Deputy James Mee during Mee’s arrest of Gibson on July 28, 2006:
Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department
Law Enforcement Incident Report
Incident Type: DUI/anti-semitic pottie-talk
Officer Responding: Deputy James Mee
Date of Incident: 28 July 2006
Time: 0230 hrs.
Deputy Mee (approaching vehicle): Mr. Gibson, do you know why I pulled you over?
Deputy Mee (approaching vehicle): Mr. Gibson, do you know why I pulled you over?Gibson: HEY! Wha’ th’ fuck? Whadd’re doin’, pullin’ me over? D’you know who I am?
Deputy Mee: Yes. You’re Mel Gibson.
Gibson: I’M MEL GIBSON, YOU ASSHOLE!
Deputy Mee: I know. I’ll need to see your license and registration.
Gibson: Why? Don’t y’know who I am?
Deputy Mee: We’ve been over this already. License and registration, please.
(Gibson reaches into glove compartment for registration and back pocket for wallet. Hands both to Officer Mee.)
Gibson: Y’know what? Fucking Jews cause all the wars in the world. And I’m bringin’ that up b’cause y’look like a goddam Jew. Are you a goddam Jew?
Deputy Mee: Mr. Gibson, how many drinks have you had tonight?
Gibson: Fuckin’ assloads, man! But don’t change th’ subject? Are you a Jew?
Deputy Mee: That’s none of your concern, Mr. Gibson.
Gibson: Oh, bullshit! It is SO my concern! It is the concern of ev’ry decent Christian who duzint like how dirty Jews control the gov’ment and the media ‘n’ ev’rything!
Deputy Mee: The Jews control the media?
Gibson: Yeah! So they c’n send us subliminal messages to bend over an’ let Israel give it to us up th’ butt an’ take out high-interest loans an’ drink Manischewitz and eat gefilte fish til it’s comin’ outta ev’ry orifice we got!
Deputy Mee: Through movies like “The Passion of the Christ?”
Gibson: Yeah, through movies like… HEY! Don’t play no dirty Jew mind-games wi’ me!
Deputy Mee: Please get out of the car, Mr. Gibson, and keep your hands where I can see them.
Gibson (getting out of car): Y’gonna kill me th’way you guys killed Jeezis Christ?
Deputy Mee: No, but I do need to give you a sobriety test.
Gibson: You sonsabitches killed my fuckin’ savior, man! I oughtta kick you in the Matzoh balls!
Deputy Mee: That would be a terrible idea. I’m armed. Now extend both of your arms at a ninety-degree angle to your body.
Gibson (extending arms): Like this?
Deputy Mee: That’s right.
Gibson (putting arms down): YOU CHRIST-KILLER! Yer tryin’ t’croosify me like y’croosified Jeezis!
Deputy Mee: No, I’m trying to assess how intoxicated you are.
Gibson: Really? And who are YOU t’judge ME? Jeezis is my personal savior, man! Whadda YOU got?
Deputy Mee: As I recall, Jesus was a Jew.
Gibson: That doesn’t COUNT! Jeezis converted t’Christianity!
Deputy Mee: Mr. Gibson, I’m going to have to arrest you for driving under the influence. If you don’t calm down, I’ll have to add resisting arrest to the charges.
Gibson (looking up): Jeezis, come down here and save me, man!
Deputy Mee (sighing, pulling out handcuffs): Mr. Gibson, you have the right to remain silent…
Gibson (still looking up): HEY, JEEZIS! Y’gonna let this fuckin’ JEW arrest ME? Get down here and save me!
Deputy Mee: If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…
Gibson: Jeezis! Wha’th’fuck, man? You gonna leave me hangin’ out t’dry? I MADE you, man! You were NOTHIN’ ’til I made a movie about you! You OWE me your CAREER! Now get down here or I swear you’ll never work in this town again!
Deputy Mee: You have the right to an attorney…
Gibson (sobbing): NO!… I DON’ WANNA BE CIRCUMSISED AGAIN…!
Now, let the healing begin!
January 19th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
it’s sad, that it com’s down to this, here is a man, who everybody think’s of as a great person, look at him now, part of what he is saying is true, and it’s not an anti semi remark, just like African American Dominate the NFL AND NBA, “who don’t know that they are just equipment” The Jewish Nation does rule the Media, Just look who owns the network, the big Movie studios, etc…, Now Christens whites are the heroes of the Movies, who always save the world, every movie you see is some white guy saving the world, someway, Like Mel Gibson, you always end up with girl, there is more to the world then what you write, wake up, No one person is better then the other, no one race cred or color, relegion, is better.
Learn to except our differnces, Isreal stop hating Palastine, let them live and grow, you think you would have learn, from hitler, how not to treat people, now you have become like nazis..
Iran except, the fact the, that jews were killed by the millions by nazis and hitler, you sound stupid, when you say it didn’t happen.
remeber no one person can go back to were we came from, were here now, we are your neighbors, learn to live, and except each other,
Muslums, do you think god or alhaa, is happy with you, if any one person truly has god in them, hate would be the first thing out your heart, if you are christen, jew, muslum, hindu, buddis, etc…
peace and make today a better day…